So, I thought its not working, so I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini (points to his head) In my mind...No, I threw the breasts out of the window of my Ford Fiesta, (points to his head again) In my mind. Actually, I threw them out, over the handlebars of my bicycle, (points to his head and mouths the words) in my mind. And they hit a small child who ran, 'Mum, Mum, Mum... I've been attacked by... jellyfish! Jellyfish drive by shooting, just like south central L.A.' 'Huh??' 'Jellyfish attacked me!' 'Where are the tentacles?' 'I dunno, probably burned up on re-entry. Probably from Mars, Mum. Can I keep them and shove them up my jumper?'

It didn't seem to work, cause no matter how much make up I wore people just kept saying, 'Yes, Sir!, Would you like tea with that Sir?!' 'Yes, I would like tea…

These are not implants, they're nice and squidgy, but they're not... they're ims, but they're not planted. They're just ims. Just your regular common or house …

So... Uh... I'd better explain the tits. Umm...didn't have those at school. Wanted to, but not in the school curriculum...even though I asked.

If the moon were made of barbeque spare ribs, would you eat it? ...I know I would. Heck, I'd have seconds. And then polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser.

Life always provides me with better jokes than any I could invent.

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.