Quote #21

In the 30s: Hitler, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, the second World War - the Russian front, not a good idea! Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid! 'Cause you know, playing Risk, you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go for that Asia bit, but you couldn't fucking hold it! Stay in Australisia, that's the key. Then just pile up and pile up and pile up.

More from Eddie Izzard

  1. Hundred years ago Napolean goes steaming into Russia going 'I'm going to kill them all! I'm going to kill th-...oooo its a bit cold it's a …
  2. Mais, la souris est en dessous la table, le chat est sur la chaise et le singe est : est : le singe est disparu!
  3. After the war, there was this feeling of no empire no longer : 'All right, come on, Europe, give these countries back. Britain?' 'What?' 'W…
  4. I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. And, uh : oh yes. You tear your history down, man! Thirty years old, let's smash it to t…
  5. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. 'I claim India for Britain!' And they're …
  6. There was a spirit of ex-empire, this thing of 'things can't be done', whereas in America, I thought there was a spirit of 'can be done!', …
  7. Yes, no smoking in bars now, and soon there'll be, no drinking and no talking! Be careful, California, you're supposed to be the crazy stat…
  8. 'Hi! I'm Crazy Eddie! I put babies on spikes. Do you want a rack of babies? We've got babies on racks! Mmm, they taste of chicken!' They do…

All Eddie Izzard quotes