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Beekeepers, yes: They've gotta want to be - 'I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom : I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps : and their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] 'Aaargh! I'm covered in bees! Aah! Covered in bees!'' 'Cause that's your job, isn't it? They must lose it - beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know, you're there, you've got the netting, you've got 2,000 bees : 'raarzzz-bzzzzz' : and essentially you're trying to steal honey. 'Bzzzzz!' 'Morning! Morning! Morning! Hello, hello! Knock-knock, coming in! Hello! : Look! There's a Ferrari over there - can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's going very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!' They must be walking back with all these bees around, and at some point, they must go: 'What the fuck am I doing? I'm covered in bees! Help! I'm covered in bees!' And you don't get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go: 'Hey! Oh, you're new here, aren't you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee - I can get you a coffee : You know, I like my coffee like I like my women - in a plastic cup!' [does double-take] Beekeepers can't do that! 2,000 bees: 'bzzzzz' : 'Hello there, you in the street! You're new, aren't you?' 'Huh?' 'Do you want a cup of coffee? It's no problem!' 'Bzzzzz :' 'No real problem :' 'I don't want a cup of coffee from you! You're covered in bees!' 'I-I like my women like I like my coffee, er, covered in bees! [to the bees] All right, back off, back off! Argh!'

Eddie Izzard#47

HumorNatureWork

About this quote

What does it mean?
The speaker jokes about beekeepers, noting they must want to steal from bees.
In plain terms
Beekeepers try to steal honey from free bees.
What can you take from it?
Jobs can involve fighting with nature.

Where it applies

  • working with animals
  • talking about jobs
  • joking about bees

Putting it to work

  • mocking jobs
  • discussing nature

Questions to consider

  • Is working with animals hard?
  • Why do people choose dangerous jobs?

Another view

The joke assumes beekeeping is about stealing rather than management.

More from Eddie Izzard

  1. 'I wanna live 'til I die; no more, no less.'

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  2. [God, who was James Mason, to Noah] 'Noah, stop what you're doing and build me an ark!' [Noah, who was Sean Connery] 'I'm working on a speed boat at the moment…

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  3. 'Danger' could be my middle name : but it's 'John'.

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