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Letters are above all useful as a means of expressing the ideal self; and no other method of communication is quite so good for this purpose. In conversation, those uneasy eyes upon you, those lips ready with an emendation before you have begun to speak, are a powerful deterrent to unreality, even to hope. In art it is not often possible to make direct use of your dreams of tomorrow and your excuses for yesterday. In letters we can reform without practice, beg without humiliation, snip and shape embarrassing experiences to the measure of our own desires - this is a benevolent form. The ideal self expressed in letters is not a crudely sugary affair except in dreary personalities; in any case the ideal is very much a part of the character, having its twenty-four hours a day to get through, and being no less unique in its combinations than one's fingerprints.

Elizabeth Hardwick#4

CommunicationIdentitySelf expressionWriting

About this quote

What does it mean?
Letters uniquely allow people to craft an ideal self without immediate social correction, shaping experiences to match desires.
In plain terms
Writing letters lets you present the best version of yourself without face-to-face pressure.
What can you take from it?
Written correspondence offers freedom to curate identity.

Where it applies

  • writing personal letters
  • journaling
  • self-reflection

Putting it to work

  • writing letters
  • journaling
  • managing public image

Questions to consider

  • Who are you in your letters versus real life?
  • Is idealizing yourself honest?

Another view

This idealized self can lead to disconnect from real relationships.

More from Elizabeth Hardwick

  1. Gertrude Stein, all courage and will, is a soldier of minimalism. Her work, unlike the resonating silences in the art of Samuel Beckett, embodies in its loquac…

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  2. The private and serious drama of guilt is not often a useful one for fiction today and its disappearance, following perhaps the disappearance from life, appear…

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  3. There's a leveling homogeneity in America today created by television. Each day it passes over the vast land mass, over the states nudging each other like the …

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