Skip to content
quotesby

Let silence be your general rule; or say only what is necessary and in few words. We shall, however, when occasion demands, enter into discourse sparingly, avoiding such common topics as gladiators, horse-races, athletes; and the perpetual talk about food and drink. Above all avoid speaking of persons, either in the way of praise or blame, or comparison. If you can, win over the conversation of your company to what it should be by your own. But if you should find yourself cut off without escape among strangers and aliens, be silent. (164)

Epictetus#52

StoicismCommunicationSelf controlSocialConversationSilence

About this quote

What does it mean?
Speak minimally and avoid trivial or contentious topics; stay silent when you cannot control the conversation.
In plain terms
Talk little, avoid gossip, and stay quiet when out of place.
What can you take from it?
Use silence to maintain focus and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Where it applies

  • social gatherings
  • business meetings

Putting it to work

  • listen more than speak
  • steer topics to purpose

Questions to consider

  • When is speaking more valuable than silence?
  • How can you contribute without dominating conversation?

Another view

Silence can be misinterpreted as disengagement.

More from Epictetus

  1. Piety towards the Gods, be sure, consists chiefly in thinking rightly concerning them-that they are, and that they govern the Universe with goodness and justic…

    Permalink to quote #51
  2. Refuse altogether to take an oath if you can, if not, as far as may be. (166)

    Permalink to quote #53
  3. Keep death and exile daily before thine eyes, with all else that men deem terrible, but more especially Death. Then wilt thou never think a mean thought, nor c…

    Permalink to quote #50

Related quotes

  1. Speech is human, silence is divine, yet also brutish and dead: therefore we must learn both arts.

    Thomas CarlyleThomas Carlyle quote #1
  2. Although there exist many thousand subjects for elegant conversation, there are persons who cannot meet a cripple without talking about feet.

    Ernest BramahErnest Bramah quote #3
  3. It is always observable that silence propagates itself, and that the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find any thing to say.

    Samuel JohnsonSamuel Johnson quote #4