I got used to dealing with groups of boys and getting on with life in unpleasant circumstances and being smart and funny and subversive at the expense of authority.

Basically, the Germans came to us and said, 'We don't have a sense of humour.'

Typical Hollywood crowd - all the kids are on drugs, and all the adults are on roller skates.

American Beer is a lot like making love on a canoe - it's fucking close to water.

I am as sober as a judge.

It's no use crying over spilt evils. It's better to mop them up laughing.

I caught my wife in bed with another man. I was crushed. I said: 'Get off me, you two!'