To be a successful father ... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, 'What …

You write a book like that that you're fond of over the years, then you see that happen to it, it's like pissing in your father's beer.

The parody is the last refuge of the frustrated writer. Parodies are what you write when you are associate editor of the Harvard Lampoon. The greater the work …