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I understand, of course, that many people find smoking objectionable. That is their right. I would, I assure you, be the very last to criticize the annoyed. I myself find many-- even most-- things objectionable. Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one's home. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs. In private I avoid such people; in public they have the run of the place. I stay at home as much as possible, and so should they. When it is necessary, however, to go out of the house, they must be prepared, as I am, to deal with the unpleasant personal habits of others. That is what 'public' means.

Fran Lebowitz#27

Public lifeSocial normsTolerance

About this quote

What does it mean?
The quote lists personal annoyances and argues for private avoidance rather than public legislation, defining 'public' as tolerating others' habits.
In plain terms
Accept others' annoying habits in public; avoid them privately.
What can you take from it?
Practice personal tolerance, not imposed restrictions.

Where it applies

  • crowded places
  • social interactions

Putting it to work

  • choose personal boundaries
  • focus on self-management

Questions to consider

  • When is public regulation justified?
  • How do we balance personal comfort with communal harmony?

Another view

It may downplay the need for collective standards in shared environments.

More from Fran Lebowitz

  1. Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

    Permalink to quote #26
  2. A place more hospitable to tourists than to its citizens is a Third World country.

    Permalink to quote #28
  3. Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.

    Permalink to quote #25

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