The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

The radio ad 'Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't.' Well, I hope you don't drive sober either, Mr. Healey. You're bli…

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, bu…

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

The illness with which he'd been smitten should have been analysed when caught, something like spleen, that scourge of Britain, or Russia's chondria, for short.

Dyspepsy is the ruin of most things: empires, expeditions, and everything else.

I am sitting on the sofa. By the fire and staying in. Me head is free of comfort And me nose is free of skin Me friends have run for cover, They have left me p…