They say Allen got something from the Marx Brothers. He got nothing. Maybe twenty years ago, he might have been inspired. Today he's an original. The best, the funniest.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I got $25 from Reader's Digest last week for something I never said. I get credit all the time for things I never said. You know that line in You Bet Your Life…

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

There is nothing more difficult for a truly creative painter than to paint a rose, because before he can do so he has first to forget all the roses that were e…

Delsarte tells me that Mozart stole outrageously from Galuppi, in the same way, I suppose, that Moliere stole from anybody anywhere, if he found something work…

I've seen the little tidal waves that I've caused in the music industry, and how people are becoming more evolved in their images. And there are a lot of new M…