Major cities are divided into two parts; the bits that are in the guidebook and the bits that aren't. If you don't take a guidebook, you'll see a different city.

Flirting is vertical foreplay.

A committee is a small group of people who get together to dream up difficulties and avoid decisions.

Dreams are like low budget British films in that they're generally badly plotted, packed with gratuitous sex and violence and very sloppily edited. Plus, on av…

Though there are some disagreeable things in Venice there is nothing so disagreeable as the visitors.

The world's a fine place for those who go out to take it; there's lots of unknown stuff' in it yet. I'll fill your lap, my pretty, so full of treasures that yo…

'Whatever would American tourists think?'