Skip to content
quotesby

A servant, indeed, one will be able perhaps to bind down by fear; nay, not even for him, for he will soon leave you. But the partner of one's life, the mother of one's children, the foundation of one's every joy, one ought never to chain down by fear and threats, but with love and good temper. For what sort of union is that, where the wife trembles at her husband? And what sort of pleasure will the husband have if he dwells with his wife as with a slave? Yea, even though you suffer everything on her account, do not scold her; for neither did Christ do this to the Church.

John Chrysostom#14

FamilyLoveMarriageRespect

About this quote

What does it mean?
Family relationships should be built on love and mutual respect, not fear or control.
In plain terms
Do not use fear to control your family; use love instead.
What can you take from it?
Love builds stronger families than fear.

Where it applies

  • marriage
  • parenting

Putting it to work

  • treat partners as equals
  • avoid threats at home

Questions to consider

  • How is authority shown at home?
  • What builds trust in marriage?

Another view

Cultural norms have historically supported authority-based family structures.

More from John Chrysostom

  1. And as a spark falling upon a wide ocean quickly disappears, so whatever events happen to the man who fears God, these, falling as it were upon an immense ocea…

    Permalink to quote #13
  2. Do you wish to honor the Body of the Savior? Do not despise it when it is naked. Do not honor it in church with silk vestments while outside it is naked and nu…

    Permalink to quote #15
  3. For we accomplish these things not by spending money but by making the correct choice. Almsgiving above all else requires money, but even this shines with a br…

    Permalink to quote #12

Related quotes

  1. The most important thing about marriage is that the man must not let the woman feel downtrodden simply because she is a woman and he is a man.

    Saddam HusseinSaddam Hussein quote #1
  2. Our relationship is very special. We were very much in love and still are. Thank God we found each other. When I say my life began with Ronnie, well, it's true…

    Nancy ReaganNancy Reagan quote #1
  3. First of all, you have to marry the right person. If you marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, then no matter how hard you work, it's never going to wo…

    Anne BancroftAnne Bancroft quote #5