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Just as maniacs, who never enjoy tranquility, so also he who is resentful and retains an enemy will never have the enjoyment of any peace; incessantly raging and daily increasing the tempest of his thoughts calling to mind his words and acts, and detesting the very name of him who has aggrieved him. Do you but mention his enemy, he becomes furious at once, and sustains much inward anguish; and should he chance to get only a bare sight of him, he fears and trembles, as if encountering the worst evils, Indeed, if he perceives any of his relations, if but his garment, or his dwelling, or street, he is tormented by the sight of them. For as in the case of those who are beloved, their faces, their garments, their sandals, their houses, or streets, excite us, the instant we behold them; so also should we observe a servant, or friend, or house, or street, or any thing else belonging to those We hate and hold our enemies, we are stung by all these things; and the strokes we endure from the sight of each one of them are frequent and continual. What is the need then of sustaining such a siege, such torment and such punishment? For if hell did not threaten the resentful, yet for the very torment resulting from the thing itself we ought to forgive the offences of those who have aggrieved us. But when deathless punishments remain behind, what can be more senseless than the man, who both here and there brings punishment upon himself, while he thinks to be revenged upon his enemy!

John Chrysostom#18

PeaceEmotionsMindResentment

About this quote

What does it mean?
Holding resentment prevents tranquility because it constantly agitates the mind. Reminders of the enemy cause fear and anguish similar to how reminders of loved ones stir emotion.
In plain terms
Being resentful keeps you in constant mental turmoil and distress.
What can you take from it?
Release grudges to find mental peace.

Where it applies

  • after conflict
  • interpersonal disputes
  • daily stress

Putting it to work

  • forgiveness
  • mental health
  • conflict resolution

Questions to consider

  • What keeps you tied to past hurts?
  • How does resentment affect your daily mood?

Another view

Some harms may require boundaries rather than immediate reconciliation.

More from John Chrysostom

  1. For what advantage is it, that the world enjoys profound peace, if thou art at war with thyself? This then is the peace we should keep. If we have it, nothing …

    Permalink to quote #17
  2. In the past the emperors were faithless persecutors; presently their piety reaches up to heaven. When passing the threshold of the church they lay off their cr…

    Permalink to quote #19
  3. If you are a Christian, no earthly city is yours. Of our City 'the Builder and Maker is God.' Though we may gain possession of the whole world, we are withal b…

    Permalink to quote #16

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