What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so mad at them.

Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to.

Ta ta and adios. Or, as Saint Peter said to me with a sly wink, when I told him I was on my last-round trip to Paradise: 'See you later, Alligator.'

I wish one and all long and happy lives, no matter what may become of them afterwards. Use sunscreen! Don't smoke cigarettes. Cigars, however, are good for you…

It was enemies one wanted, not friends.

'Get out o' Mr. Fletcher's road, ye idle, lounging, little - ' 'Vagabond,' I think the woman (Sally Walkins, once my nurse,) was going to say, but she changed …

On [George Bernard Shaw] An excellent man: he has no enemies, and none of his friends like him.