Sleep slunk up like a black panther and sank its kindly fangs into what remained of the Mortdecai brain.

It will be a sad day for the world when the Oriental gent realizes that Western bumbling is only Eastern guile in a different idiom. Well, a lot of it, anyway.

Fate's fickle finger was feeling for my fundament.

'You would now be an enemy, in the third class, of my own organization.' 'Only third class?' I asked in the indignant tones which Queen Victoria surely used wh…

What outcries pluck me from my naked bed And chill my throbbing heart with trembling fear.

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

If you ever want to find out just how uninteresting you really are, get a job where the quality and frequency of your thoughts determine your livelihood. I've …