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And the angel's body was bared, and he was clothed in light so that eye could not look on him; and his voice grew louder, as though it came not from him but from heaven above. And the angel said: I have learnt that all men live not by care for themselves, but by love. It was not given to the mother to know what her children needed for their life. Nor was it given to the rich man to know what he himself needed. Nor is it given to any man to know whether, when evening comes, he will need boots for his body or slippers for his corpse. I remained alive when I was a man, not by care of myself, but because love was present in a passer-by, and because he and his wife pitied and loved me. The orphans remained alive, not because of their mother's care, but because there was love in the heart of a woman a stranger to them, who pitied and loved them. And all men live not by the thought they spend on their own welfare, but because love exists in man. I knew before that God gave life to men and desires that they should live; now I understood more than that. I understood that God does not wish men to live apart, and therefore he does not reveal to them what each one needs for himself; but he wishes them to live united, and therefore reveals to each of them what is necessary for all. I have now understood that though it seems to men that they live by care for themselves, in truth it is love alone by which they live. He who has love, is in God, and God is in him, for God is love.

Leo Tolstoy#44

LoveHumanityCommunityConnectionCareInterdependenceSurvival

About this quote

What does it mean?
An angel summarizes that humans live by love, not self-care. Even mothers and the wealthy cannot know their needs, but strangers' love sustains them.
In plain terms
Humans survive through love from others, not just self-care.
What can you take from it?
Love from others sustains life more than self-care.

Where it applies

  • social bonds
  • personal crises
  • parenting

Putting it to work

  • building community
  • offering help
  • relying on others

Questions to consider

  • How has love from others sustained you?
  • Who helps you survive difficult times?

Another view

It overlooks individual agency and self-reliance.

More from Leo Tolstoy

  1. When the woman showed her love for the children that were not her own, and wept over them, I saw in her the living God, and understood What men live by.

    Permalink to quote #43
  2. Quite often a man goes on for years imagining that the religious teaching that had been imparted to him since childhood is still intact, while all the time the…

    Permalink to quote #45
  3. The man is making preparations for a year, and does not know that he will die before evening. And I remembered God's second saying, 'Learn what is not given to…

    Permalink to quote #42

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