CH: Have you told many fibs today? M: I lie a lot - it's really useful - but everything I've said today has been the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me... er... Trevor...

DK: Have you ever been to a rave? M: Rave is the refuge for the mentally deficient. It's made by dull people for dull people.

Clevage Sister: 'What do you feel about erotic art?' Morrissey:'I don't know much about rotting art?' Clevage Sister: 'What about erotic music?' Morrissey:'I k…

Jools Holland: 'Knock Knock!' Morrissey: 'I'm not in!' Jools: 'Oh, come on.' Morrissey: 'I refuse to open the door.'