Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage The profession is overcrowded And the struggle's pretty tough And admitting the fact she's burning to act That isn't quite enough She's a big girl and though her teeth are fairly good She's not the type I ever would be eager to engage I repeat, Mrs. Worthington, sweet Mrs. Worthington Don't put your daughter on the stage

So if I could employ A little magic that will finally destroy This dream that pains me and enchains me But I can't because I'm mad... I'm mad about the boy

The stately homes of England we proudly represent, We only keep them up for Americans to rent. Tho' the pipes that supply the bathroom burst And the lavat'ry m…

Will it ever cloy This odd diversity of misery and joy I'm feeling quite insane and young again And all because I'm mad about the boy