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It all spoke of the willingness of people to hurt each other, the burning passion to control what other people thought and did. So many people, in secret, subtle ways, acted to destroy people - and not just their enemies, either, but also their friends. Destroying them for the pleasure of knowing that they had the power to cause pain. And so few who devoted their lived to building other peoples strength and confidence. So few who were true teachers, genuine mates.

Orson Scott Card#331

RelationshipsPowerMoralityControlHarm

About this quote

What does it mean?
Many secretly destroy others to feel power, while few build them up.
In plain terms
People often hurt friends and enemies to feel in control.
What can you take from it?
Control over others is often sought through harm rather than help.

Where it applies

  • toxic relationships
  • workplace dynamics
  • social observation

Putting it to work

  • recognizing manipulation
  • valuing builders

Questions to consider

  • Why do people seek power through pain?
  • Who do you know who builds others up?

Another view

Some harm is unintentional, not just for pleasure.

More from Orson Scott Card

  1. He saw them with such better understanding that they took on power and meaning beyond anything in his experience before.

    Permalink to quote #330
  2. Is this earth? So beautiful and monstrous? Is this what we were?

    Permalink to quote #332
  3. If I had taken away the desire for violence then humanity would not have been humanity. Not that human beings need to be violent in order to be human, but if y…

    Permalink to quote #329

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