Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control.

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhe…

I wake up on Monday, and I have to write about people fucking each other. It's a tough life.

The good thing about reinventing the wheel is that you can get a round one.

Such a proud moment of professionalism. You work for years crafting cogent satirical essays and the thing that everybody remembers is me making love to a Chiqu…