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Presently they saw their Mother coming out of the drawing-room with a visitor following her. Jane and Michael could see that the newcomer had shiny black hair - 'Rather like a wooden Dutch doll,' whispered Jane. And that she was thin, with large feet and hands, and small, rather peering blue-eyes. 'You'll find that they are very nice children,' Mrs. Banks was saying. Michael's elbow gave a sharp dig at Jane's ribs. 'And that they give no trouble at all,' continued Mrs. Banks uncertainly, as if she herself didn't really believe what she was saying. They heard the visitor sniff as though she didn't either. 'Now, about reference -' Mrs. Banks went on. 'Oh, I make it a rule never to give references,' said the other firmly.

P. L. Travers#11

CharacterCommunicationDoubtFamilySocial norms

About this quote

What does it mean?
Parents offer vague reassurances about children that do not match the visible situation, revealing uncertainty.
In plain terms
Parents say the kids are nice and give no trouble but neither they nor the visitor believes it.
What can you take from it?
Vague reassurances often hide doubt about reality.

Where it applies

  • job interviews
  • family gatherings
  • social interactions

Putting it to work

  • read between the lines
  • expect honesty
  • notice contradictions

Questions to consider

  • When have you felt someone doubted your praise?
  • How do you spot insincerity?

Another view

The scene is fictional and may not reflect typical parenting.

More from P. L. Travers

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