Robert A. Heinlein Quotes on Humor
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Widows are far better than brides. They don't tell, they won't yell, they don't swell, they rarely smell, and they're grateful as hell.
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Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss.
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One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
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When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
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I usually read the obituaries first as there is always the happy chance that one of them will make my day.
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Premenstrual Syndrome: Just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.