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The man who cannot raise children without whipping them ought not to have them. The man who would mar the flesh of a boy or girl is unfit to have the control of a human being. The father who keeps a rod in his house keeps a relic of barbarism in his heart. There is nothing reformatory in punishment; nothing reformatory in fear. Kindness, guided by intelligence, is the only reforming force. An appeal to brute force is an abandonment of love and reason, and puts father and child upon a savage equality; the savageness in the heart of the father prompting the use of the rod or club, produces a like savageness in the victim. The old idea that a child's spirit must be broken is infamous.

Robert G. Ingersoll#201

LoveFamilyEducationChildrenDisciplineCruelty

About this quote

What does it mean?
Physical punishment is barbaric and ineffective for reform. Kindness guided by intelligence is the only way to positively influence a child.
In plain terms
Don't hit children; use kindness and intelligence to guide them instead.
What can you take from it?
Use kindness and intelligence to raise children, not physical punishment.

Where it applies

  • child rearing
  • education
  • conflict resolution

Putting it to work

  • avoid corporal punishment
  • teach with empathy

Questions to consider

  • How should children be disciplined?
  • What teaches better than fear?

Another view

Some parents believe strict discipline is necessary for safety or structure.

More from Robert G. Ingersoll

  1. The man who accepts opinions because they have been entertained by distinguished people, is a mental snob.

    Permalink to quote #200
  2. The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, and is a traitor to himself and his fellow men.

    Permalink to quote #202
  3. The law of the church has created neither the purity nor the peace of domestic life. Back of all churches is human affection. Back of all theologies is the lov…

    Permalink to quote #199

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