had to use hammer to free stuck disk drive heads.

Fluorescent lights are generating negative ions. If turning them off doesn't work, take them out and put tin foil on the ends.

High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it.

Flat tire on station wagon with tapes. ('Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway' Andrew S. Tannenbaum)