I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound - with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit.

Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city... Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow cent…

That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I …

I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle…

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad serves up] a triple scoop of crazy, sprinkled with crazy, and topped off with warm crazy sauce.

A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. [:] At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one p…