Quote #11

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

More from Steven Wright

  1. All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
  2. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
  3. All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried …
  4. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
  5. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
  6. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
  7. About a year ago, my girlfriend was on the pill, wearing a diaphragm, and an IUD all at once. Recently, she had a baby; baby was born weari…
  8. Do you think when they asked George Washington for his ID, he just pulled out a quarter?

All Steven Wright quotes