Quote #58

I mix my water myself-two parts H and one part O.

More from Steven Wright

  1. I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
  2. I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
  3. I locked my keys in the car the other day. But it was alright; I was still inside.
  4. I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my c…
  5. I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
  6. I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went 'Aaaaahhhh...'
  7. I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
  8. I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

All Steven Wright quotes