I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.

I was married once- in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no l…

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Aloof with hermit-eye I scan The present works of present man - A wild and dreamlike trade of blood and guile, Too foolish for a tear, too wicked for a smile!

Action is the highest perfection and drawing forth of the utmost power, vigor, and activity of man's nature.

A little rule, a little sway, A sunbeam in a winter's day, Is all the proud and mighty have Between the cradle and the grave.