Regarding the federal government's response to Hurricane Katrina:

'Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.'

'We stated openly that Steven Pagones did it. If we're lying, sue us, so we can go into court with you and prove you did it. Sue us - sue us right now.'

'If the Jews want to get it on,' he said, 'tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house.'