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His first conception must evidently be a frantic spasm, formless, insane, not to be classed as an articulate thought. Yet, if he develops the faculties of his mind, the more he knows of it the more he sees that its nature is identical with his own whenever comparision is possible. The True Will is thus both determined by its equations, and free because those equation are simply its own name, spelt out fully. His sense of being under bondage comes from his inability to read it; his sense that evil exists to thwart him arises when he begins to learn to read, reads wrong, and is obstinate that his error is an improvement.

Aleister Crowley#44

WillFreedomSelfDeterminismSelf knowledge

About this quote

What does it mean?
The True Will emerges from chaotic, formless thought; understanding it makes it appear both predetermined and free, while misreading creates a false sense of bondage.
In plain terms
True purpose starts as a wild, unstructured impulse; recognizing it makes it seem both fixed and free, but misinterpretation feels like oppression.
What can you take from it?
Learn to read your inner drive correctly to avoid feeling trapped.

Where it applies

  • spiritual practice
  • creative work

Putting it to work

  • meditate on inner impulses
  • distinguish true intent from ego

Questions to consider

  • What practices help you discern true will?
  • How does misreading your drive affect behavior?

Another view

Labeling will as both determined and free can be contradictory.

More from Aleister Crowley

  1. His own infinity becomes zero in relation to that of the least fragment of the solid. He hardly exists at all. Trillions multiplies by trillions of trillions o…

    Permalink to quote #43
  2. We know one thing only. Absolute existence, absolute motion, absolute direction, absolute simultaneity, absolute truth, all such ideas: they have not, and neve…

    Permalink to quote #45
  3. A parabola is bound by one law which fixes its relations with two straight lines at every point; yet it has no end short of infinity, and it continually change…

    Permalink to quote #42

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