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He smiled at her, and she felt uncomfortable as she always did when he showed her affection as opposed to lust. Lust she expected from a man but not affection. The men in her life, her brothers and father, had not been affectionate; and lust would have been inappropriate, though she saw them direct that at other women, usually women of low rank, ripe to be used and cast aside

Alice Borchardt#24

TrustAffectionHealingTrauma

About this quote

What does it mean?
The narrator feels discomfort with affection due to a history of abuse or neglect, distinguishing it from expected lust.
In plain terms
Past trauma makes it hard to trust kindness from men.
What can you take from it?
Acknowledge how past pain shapes current reactions.

Where it applies

  • recovering from neglect
  • receiving affection

Putting it to work

  • identify triggers
  • build trust slowly

Questions to consider

  • How does past pain affect trust?
  • What signals safety to you?

Another view

Not all men fit the pattern of past abusers.

More from Alice Borchardt

  1. He is tremendously strong, she thought, and liked the idea, even as she had feared that strength when she first met him

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  2. He was magnificent, and I will never forget that in that moment, I first loved him. And I never stopped loving him. I do now and always will. No one ever broug…

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  3. for when women take revenge, it is with all their hearts and souls, not to mention considerable inventiveness and ingenuity

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