It's funny--when I showed up for my first book signing at Barnes & Noble, I got there and the place was empty. I turned to the manager and said, 'Hey, I'm really sorry that no one showed up,' and he points to the mezzanine level above us where there were 770 people and goes, 'They're all here to see you.' I was floored. I turned to my wife and said, 'You know, maybe the book doesn't suck so bad after all.

on Iron Chef America: To be honest, I don't know who the competitors will be. When taping the episodes, I know what the secret ingredient is going to be ahead …

Bobby Flay's getting ready to crack some coconuts. He's choosing his arsenal for that.. his head, he's using his head--which may be the hardest thing here in K…

Good Eats was, if nothing else, original. I can't always say that it's good, but I do think it's original. And I think that's something that comes from one per…

Hemingway hated me. I sold 200 million books, and he didn't. Of course most of mine sold for 25 cents, but still... you look at all this stuff with a grain of …

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.

All that mankind has done, thought, gained or been: it is lying as in magic preservation in the pages of books.