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Ambrose Bierce
Quote #25
Congratulation, n. The civility of envy.
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Clarionet, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clario…
Conservative, n. A statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a Liberal, who wants to replace them with others.
Circus, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. …
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucki…
Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
Dawn, n. The time when men of reason go to bed. Certain old men prefer to rise at about that time, taking a cold bath and a long walk with …
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