Quote #24
Clarionet, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets.
More from Ambrose Bierce
- Circus, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
- Congratulation, n. The civility of envy.
- Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. …
- Conservative, n. A statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a Liberal, who wants to replace them with others.
- Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
- Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
- Cannon, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
- Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucki…