Ambrose Bierce Quotes on Humor
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Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Clarionet, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets.
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Electricity, n. The cause of all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. It is the same thing as lightning, and its famous attempt to strike Dr. Franklin is one of the most picturesque incidents in that great and good man's career.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forbearance among men.