Ambrose Bierce Quotes on Religion
-
Bacchus, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
-
Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ so long as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
-
Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.
-
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
-
Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
-
Sabbath, n. A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
-
Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
-
Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.