Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To hear what it's all about, perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once? 'Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration : that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.'

Oh, there's a threat to America! Yeah, yeah, yeah... Back to that fuckin' COPS show. 'Cuz I'll tell you who the threat to freedom... no, no, not to freedom. I'…

Then comes the kicker: Say the alphabet : backwards. 'Well, shoot, you got me. I'm not drunk, but I'm obviously too stupid to be driving, God damn it.'

And I knew Bill Clinton became one of the boys when he bombed Iraq. Remember that? It was just a little news story for two days, isn't that interesting? He lau…

'I profoundly admire Aldous Huxley, both for his philosophy and uncompromising sincerity. But I disagree with his advocacy of 'the chemical opening of doors in…

I believe that with the advent of acid, we discovered a new way to think, and it has to do with piecing together new thoughts in your mind. Why is it that peop…

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. Okay, not the most popular idea ever exp…