I'm still trying to get my grandmother off her old behind and into the Olympics. Why not? She can dust. (on the sport of curling)

Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon! (on the influx of high-schoolers into the NBA)

(To Kenny Smith when he arrived late) When we say 'Be on at 7 o'clock,' that don't mean black-folk time.

This is my schedule: I wake up in the morning, decide where to play golf and drink beer all day