It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again 'cause that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house.

Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool.

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have …

(To Kenny Smith when he arrived late) When we say 'Be on at 7 o'clock,' that don't mean black-folk time.