Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool.

(To Kenny Smith when he arrived late) When we say 'Be on at 7 o'clock,' that don't mean black-folk time.

It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again 'cause that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at y…

I'm still trying to get my grandmother off her old behind and into the Olympics. Why not? She can dust. (on the sport of curling)