'It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper,' said Mr. Bumble. 'So cry away.'

But death, fires, and burglary, make all men equals...

Dignity, and even holiness too, sometimes, are more questions of coat and waistcoat than some people imagine.

I only know two sorts of boys. Mealy boys, and beef-faced boys.

I have Bright's disease and he has mine.

One day I had an asthmatic attack. These three asthmatics jumped me. I know, it's my fault... I should have heard them hiding.

This is The Tonight Show. I can't tell you too much about it, other than the fact that this program is going to go on forever.