... I do think we need to explore the commitment problem, which has caused many women to mistakenly conclude that men, as a group, have the emotional maturity of hamsters. This is not the case. A hamster is much more capable of making a lasting commitment to a woman, especially if she gives it those little food pellets. Whereas a guy, in a relationship, will consume the pellets of companionship, and he will run on the exercise wheel of lust; but as soon as he senses that the door of commitment is about to close and trap him in the wire cage of true intimacy, he'll squirm out, scamper across the kitchen floor of uncertainty and hide under the refrigerator of Non-Readiness.

The first major president to be elected after the War of 1812 was President Monroe Doctrine, who became famous by developing the policy for which he is named. …

I am not making this up.

But this should serve as a reminder to brides of the importance of discouraging reception guests from discharging their firearms unless they have a good reason…

It's not easy being a man! Oh no..I had to get dressed today... and there are other pressures.

To win a woman in the first place one must please her, then undress her, and then somehow get her clothes back on her. Finally, so she will allow you to leave …

Sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered - and still do - which is the more important.