(talking to the drummer of Green Day after he jumped off the drum platform and landed on the floor] Oh my god wow, are you gonna be ok son?

(Before Green Day) Whenever our next guests are on the show, we hope and pray that they don't break anything.

Letterman, after the singer brands him a 'sick fuck': 'You realize this is being broadcast don't you?'

You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

Flames from the lips may be produced by holding in the mouth a sponge saturated with the purest gasoline.

In all feats of fire-eating it should be noted that the head is thrown well back, so that the flame may pass out of the open mouth instead of up into the roof,…

'Hmm, maybe instead of jumping off the drum riser you could just step carefully down off of it but make a crazy I'm-going-off-really-hard face while you're doi…