'Hmm, maybe instead of jumping off the drum riser you could just step carefully down off of it but make a crazy I'm-going-off-really-hard face while you're doing it so people think you're doing some insane stage move.'

'I love your duck with all its ducky goodness.' [In a Q&A when Jenny told him that, her duck loves him and asked if he loved it back.]

'And I will be your Guiding Light if you'll be my General Hospital.'

'Yes, I'm a vegetarian, but not because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.'

I have a message for anyone coming to the Ozzfest this summer (Summer, 2000): If you're planning to jump up onstage during my set, please do not give me any be…

'I still skate occasionally but last time I did, at our show in Hanford, I did a 360 front side varial over our rolled-up banner and broke every damn bone in m…

Nardwar The Human Serviette: 'Jade, is there any way to protect Danny's balls - oh I'm sorry, Davey's balls - when he jumps into the audience?'