112 Ozzy Osbourne Quotes

Ozzy Osbourne quotes

1. I am a raging alcoholic, but I don't want my kids to do the same.

2. I love you all; I love you more than life itself, but you're all fucking mad!

3. Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a shitload of bubbles!?

4. We are not going to continue until we hear the fucking roof rattle.

5. I like the word fuck. Fucking deal with it and move on to the first fucking question you have.

6. I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never piss on a piece of stone at the fucking Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober. I mean I know I'm a fucking crazy-ass but still.

7. All that stuff about heavy metal and hard rock, I don't subscribe to any of that. It's all just music. I mean, the heavy metal from the Seventies sounds nothing like the stuff from the Eighties, and that sounds nothing like the stuff from the Nineties. Who's to say what is and isn't a certain type of music?

8. I push this one button and the shower goes on and I think, where the fuck am I?

9. I live in a 9 million dollar turd.

10. We're the Osbournes, and I love it.

11. I hate these fucking stretch bastards junk pimp mobiles!

12. Turn that thing off, its driving me mad!

13. International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire.

14. You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!

15. Well, its not that bad. I thought she was going to show me a picture of uhhhh...an eagle on her ass or something.

16. All you have to do is say Fuck Off when the vagina doctor calls.

17. [To Kelly, after he's become suspicious] You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you?

18. Its like Dr. Doolittle in this fucking house here.

19. No we won't -- no we won't break the law Sharon.

20. Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the fuck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!

21. How the fuck you feed a tree?...What...you put a ham sandwich on the tree?

22. [after one of his dogs urinated in the bedroom] Who pissed!!? Who pissed on my fucking carpet!?! That bastard fucking dog man. I'm going to throw you in the pool! Get the fuck out of my house! Why do they do it Sharon? Whats the deal man? It's a fucking terrorist man! It's fucking part of Bin Laden's gang! Fucking Ali Baba used to go work on this rug.

23. [hugging Sharon] Merry xmas....now fuck off.

24. I like warming my butt by the fire.

25. [while lighting a fire on the beach] Fuck! Go to Alaska! No, no, no, no. You fucking asshole ocean! No!

26. I've had this TV for 7 years, this is how it works. Power on - it comes on. Simple clicker, volume control - piece of piss. Works every time.... what the fuck's this? What am I doing? JACK!!

27. I've done a lot worse than jump off piers, son. Like throw a television out the window.

28. Let me explain something to you - you have not been standing in front of thirty thousand decibals for thirty-five years - write me a note!

29. Nobody tells me fuck all!

30. This will end in tears.

31. The downside of being outrageous is that you have to go around explaining your fucking self to people. If you're too cocky, somebody might just pull out a fucking gun and cock it and blow your fucking face off. You gotta be really careful what you bite off. Don't bite off more than you can chew. It's a dangerous world.

32. ...the other day, I went to a chiropractor. He's just a regular chiropractor. Whenever I meet someone who doesn't know me, they say, 'Oh you're the guy who bites the heads off everything.' I get kind of cheesed off with it, but at least they remember. The thing that pisses me off is that that's not what I'm about. If that's what you think Ozzy Osbourne's about, then you're way off.

33. I have no regrets except that I wasn't up to keep Randy (Rhoads) from getting on that plane.

34. I've had every known chemical--cocaine, booze--and tobacco is the hardest one in the world for me to quit. You watch old flicks? It's suggestion by looking at something: You see a cigarette, and it makes you want to smoke!

35. I miss the lack of melody [in current music] as well. I mean, a lot of people think I'm crazy for liking Creed and I like them purely because they sing! I mean, the singer of Creed sings like the guy from Pearl Jam, very close kind of voice. But I like the fact that Creed sing. I don't care if they're a Bible band, Satan band:

36. Here's the thing. I always hear that whole 'metal is dead' crap. The truth of the matter is that when we started the Ozzfest, media-wise, yes, metal was dead. But as far as the kids went, it was still huge. It was just that radio and MTV decided it wasn't in vogue with what they wanted to do at the time, so the average person didn't hear too much about it. That's why when it comes to picking the new acts each summer, we have people out there on the internet and in the clubs looking for good music and finding bands that people are excited about. I want to know what the kids are into, because I don't trust the industry.

37. I'm about caring, I'm about people, and I'm about entertaining people. I'm a family man. A husband. A father. I've been a lot of other things over the years, which we don't really want to talk about. I'm always working on trying to better myself, you know? I think that that is an ongoing thing with me. I think I'll do that for the rest of my life. I'm always thinking of what I can do today to better my life.

38. I kept hearing that metal is dead and Ozzy's dead and people that like Ozzy are dead. I have never had an empty seat. I've always sold out, so who's saying it's all over?

39. I don't consider myself a great singer--but I have a connection with the audience. There's the artist, and then a void and the audience; but I like to be part of the audience. I'd like to be them, and I'd like them to be me for an hour and a half. I get criticized for being the antichrist, causing kids to commit suicide, but that's total bullsh-t. My intentions are not that. Every year they have Halloween, and all I do is take Halloween night out on the road every night. It's like a Halloween party every night. If that was the case on Halloween night, the police cells would be full--everyone would have turned Satanic for the night!

40. It took a lot of water to down just that fucking bat's head, let me tell you. It's still stuck in my fucking throat, after all these years. People all over the world say, 'You're the guy who kills creatures? You still do it? You do it every night?' It happened fucking once, for Christ's sake.

41. When we did that album (Vol. 4) it was like one big Roman orgy-we'd be in the Jacuzzi all day doing coke, and every now and then we'd get up to do a song.

42. Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years! Now, some rare fly will fly over me, crap on my shoulder, and I'll drop dead, you know? My life story is a real-life story.

43. I have a message for anyone coming to the Ozzfest this summer (Summer, 2000): If you're planning to jump up onstage during my set, please do not give me any bear hugs, because they fucking hurt. Listen to me, I'm dead serious. On the first night of last year's tour, this enormous guy jumped up onstage and gave me a huge bear hug. He crushed 3 of my ribs and I had to do the whole tour in absolute agony. I couldn't believe it, the first fucking show!

44. I have a saying. 'Never judge a book by its cover'. I say that because I don't even know who Ozzy is. I wake up a new person every day. But if you've got a fantasy of Ozzy, who am I to say? I mean, if you think I sleep upside-down in the rafters and fly around at night and bite people's throats out, then that's your thing. But I can tell you now, all I ever wanted was for people to come to my concerts and have a good time. I don't want anyone to harm themselves in any way, shape or form-and my intentions are good whether people want to believe it or not. I'm not going to suddenly become a Jesus freak or anything. But I do have my beliefs and my beliefs are certainly not satanic.

45. There is something fucking unbelievable about seeing all of the fans go crazy and chanting 'Ozzy!' I would pay to see them..

46. When you're young, you're stupid. You do silly things. I did it (the O-Z-Z-Y tattoo across his knuckles) when I was 14. I was in jail for something. I could have had it removed, but why? It's my trademark. People stop me and say, 'Let me have a look at your hand.'

47. The idea of a band nowadays is 5 pretty boys, one with a tattoo, one with a shaved head, and on and on. What the fuck is that? I mean, I like Britney Spears, I think she's pretty, but I'm not from the Mickey Mouse Club-I'm from the Godzilla Club!

48. There's not a stupidest thing--I've dressed in women's clothes, I've dressed as a Nazi. I've gone onstage naked. I've gone on so drunk I didn't even know I did a show. I've done so many stupid things, but it's all part of Ozzy. I never pre-planned 99.9% of the things I've done. Some were drastically wrong, some were drastically right. I don't know if you saw the VH1 thing [VH1's Behind The Music Ozzy documentary] recently. In one hour, it's impossible to write my life down. I come from a rather large family, three older sisters and two younger brothers. On the documentary, they interviewed my sister and it was the first time I'd seen her in years. I've had a very, very unique life. I often sit back and remember when I had no money--when you're in the middle of it, you get depressed thinking it's going to last forever. All of a sudden, out of nowhere--a bolt of lightning--here I am! I'm very well-off; I've got property all over the place, I've had a very fruitful career. But I've never had a No.1 album in America. But I've lasted several generations and somebody says to me, 'Do you notice any difference in the audience?' I've been doing it now for 30 years. Some of the fans are older, but I've picked up new fans along the way.

49. ...as you'll know, the word 'fuck' sort of is used quite a lot in my house. Now, that's not to say, I think to say 'fuck this' or 'fuck you' a lot more, so it should be entered into the English language, because it has a lot more impact when you say, 'I fucking hate this thing.'

50. The biggest thing has been realizing how much people really do love the early Sabbath music. People have said it in the past but I've never really believed them before. I remember years ago when Metallica opened up for me, I went backstage and they were playing old Black Sabbath albums and I thought they were taking the piss! They said, 'No, we really love Sabbath.' I couldn't see that at the time--because towards the end of my time with Sabbath 20 years ago I thought what we were doing was boring and stupid, because we were boring and stupid, totally sick of what we were doing and totally out of our brains with drink or drugs when we were playing it.

51. I've been dictating to my son, who's helping me on his computer. I'm spending a lot of time doing research--I've just got up to 1971, when I went crazy and dived through the window. My life is so full of interesting stories...

52. I like the smell of armpits in the morning. It's like victory.

53. I'm not picking up dog shit. I'm a rock star.

54. [on Kelly's drummer friend] Anyone that beats fucking skins for a living has got to be somewhat weird.

55. When I was a practicing alcoholic, I was unbelievable. One side effect was immense suspicion: I'd come off tour like Inspector Clouseau on acid. 'Where's this cornflake come from? It wasn't here before.

56. Dimebag was a dear friend of mine, I'm absolutely beside myself with grief. I can't for the life of me understand why someone would do this. Pantera toured with me many, many times. I'll always remember the signed guitar that he gave me at my 50th birthday party. My heart goes out to Dime's family, his fans and the other innocent victims who were killed in this senseless tragedy. It's just terribly, terribly sad.

57. Where do I live?

58. Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting.

59. People say it's hard at the top, but it's even harder at the bottom.

60. God, beam me up!

61. I'm not the greatest singer in the world, but I do give people entertainment.

62. I'm the guy kids love and parents hate. The guy mothers love to hate. When you've achieved that, you've achieved a goal.

63. My mother was an amateur singer, my father was an amateur drunk.

64. My mother said to me, 'Get a proper job. Quit this f--king around.' She still thinks it's a crazy f--king thing I'm doing.

65. To be honest, I am a little bit crazy. I accept that. I've always been outrageous. I've never been the every day you. I've always gone over the top with everything.

66. If I had to start it all over again, the only thing I would change is I'd learn to read a contract better.

67. I've come to the conclusion that people don't want to know the truth-that I'm a happily married man with three kids that I absolutely adore, and that what I do is entertain people. I am not fucking Dracula.

68. It's good fun and it's had great rewards. It's been such an eye opener for me. Everything that I have ever wanted to have has come from rock and roll. I've had happiness, I've had sadness. I've had everything. I've experienced life, death, birth, marriage, divorce, and it's been a whole bunch of fun. I wouldn't have it any different. I'd do it all again tomorrow.

69. I'm an absolute perfectionist. I'm never happy with a finished album. There's always something I don't like.

70. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

71. (talking about the dove incident) Sharon gave me these two doves, told me to go into the conference room and throw them up in the air. I did that, but one of them didn't fly...so i picked it up, bit its head off and threw the body towards all the suits around the table...hoping they would, you know, see the funny side.

72. Well listen, how does a sparrow make an emergency landing? With a sparrowchute.

73. We've obviously got what the people want. It's aggressive music and I think America likes aggression.

74. I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots

75. Happiness to me is getting stoned.

76. I know I ain't going to fucking live to be an old man. I know that.

77. I didn't think anything we did was spectacular. I remember we thought, 'Let's just write some scary music.'

78. I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside source. Whatever it is, frankly, I hope it's not what I think - Satan.

79. He was the first person that came into my life and gave me hope.

80. Had he lived, I truly believe he'd have been one of the greatest guitar players that ever walked the earth. He was when he was here.

81. Do you know people, I've made many... errr... statements about being sober and, what I can really say is... sobriety fucking sucks!

82. They say life sucks and then you die, that's pretty much it.

83. I fell in love with Randy as a player and a person the instant I saw him. He had the best smile in the world. Randy was the best guy in the world to work with. There is no comparison between him and Tony Iommi, and I can only compare the two because they were the only guitar players I had ever worked with. I was attracted to Randy's angelic attitude towards the whole business. I didn't have to teach him anything; all that he was lacking was guidance. He listened to every word I spoke to him, and we had a great rapport together.

84. If I had done everything they said I've done, I'd be dead.

85. Black Sabbath was a hippie band. We were into peace.

86. I'm just a Rock and Roll Rebel, I tell you no lies, they say I worship the devil, they must be stupid or blind

87. Howling in the shadows, living in a lunar spell, he finds his heaven, spewing from the mouth of hell.

88. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

    Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.

89. I just can't wake from these scary dreams.

90. I'm not the kind of person you think I am, I'm not the anti-Christ, or the iron man.

91. I'm like a junky without an addiction.

92. I can't believe I'm still here, I know I should be dead.

1. I am a raging alcoholic and a raging addict and I didn't want to see my kids do the same thing.

2. I am a raging alcoholic and a raging addict and I didnt want to see my kids do the same thing

3. Antidepressants sure kill your sexual life...Now, THAT'S depressing!

4. I have no faith in my ability to judge things.

5. I'm about caring, I'm about people, and I'm about entertaining people. I'm a family man. A husband. A father. I've been a lot of other things over the years, which we don't really want to talk about.

6. I want to be American. America is the coolest place on the face of the Earth. You've got freedom of speech. You've got McDonald's.

7. I wish I didn't have to perform 'Iron Man' every night.

8. I'm not trying to twist people's heads around. I'm not trying to say, "Believe in me."

9. The most unbelievable thing about my behaviour is that I was convinced it was entirely f**king normal.

10. When I was doing drugs and alcohol, I thought I'll have a drink and a line of this and I'll smoke this. I didn't go, 'Then I'm going to go out and get drunk, come back strangle my wife and wake up in jail on charges of attempted murder,' but that's what happened. I'm not telling people what to do. If they can enjoy doing it and they get on with it and they can handle it fine, but don't involve me. I'm lucky to be alive; you're playing with Russian roulette.

11. The bike went up in the air and landed on my back. It broke my neck, smashed my collarbone and splinters of bone severed my main artery. My lung filled up with blood. I severed my nerves and to this day I have no feeling there.

12. I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.

13. It’s sad, y’know, what money does to people.

14. Children of the future, watching empires fall. Madness the cup they drink from, self destruction the toll.

15. With my recovery programme, I have to do a daily inventory of how my day has been. I am terribly dyslexic and have attention deficit disorder, so I have to carry a tape recorder everywhere I go.

16. There are no unsavable souls.

17. I hyperventilate opening a box of chocolates. I'm the most nervous guy in the world, a frightened little man on red alert from when I wake until I go to sleep. I was born with fear.

18. But the thing with us was, we didn’t really need anyone to make us world famous – we were already halfway there.

19. I bit the head off a live bat the other night. It was like eating a Crunchie wrapped in chamois leather.

20. There are no unlockable doors.