12 Ozzy Osbourne Quotes on Humor

Ozzy Osbourne quotes on humor

3. Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a shitload of bubbles!?

13. International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire.

14. You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!

15. Well, its not that bad. I thought she was going to show me a picture of uhhhh...an eagle on her ass or something.

17. [To Kelly, after he's become suspicious] You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you?

18. Its like Dr. Doolittle in this fucking house here.

21. How the fuck you feed a tree?...What...you put a ham sandwich on the tree?

22. [after one of his dogs urinated in the bedroom] Who pissed!!? Who pissed on my fucking carpet!?! That bastard fucking dog man. I'm going to throw you in the pool! Get the fuck out of my house! Why do they do it Sharon? Whats the deal man? It's a fucking terrorist man! It's fucking part of Bin Laden's gang! Fucking Ali Baba used to go work on this rug.

23. [hugging Sharon] Merry xmas....now fuck off.

71. (talking about the dove incident) Sharon gave me these two doves, told me to go into the conference room and throw them up in the air. I did that, but one of them didn't fly...so i picked it up, bit its head off and threw the body towards all the suits around the table...hoping they would, you know, see the funny side.

72. Well listen, how does a sparrow make an emergency landing? With a sparrowchute.

74. I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots