Well listen, how does a sparrow make an emergency landing? With a sparrowchute.

(talking about the dove incident) Sharon gave me these two doves, told me to go into the conference room and throw them up in the air. I did that, but one of t…

We've obviously got what the people want. It's aggressive music and I think America likes aggression.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Sports fans, I have the final score for you on the big game between Harvard and William & Mary. It is: Harvard 14, William 12, Mary 6.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

There was a lot more joking going on when I was a kid. My dad, for instance, specialised in puns and I remember once we were on vacation in California and we w…