All you have to do is say Fuck Off when the vagina doctor calls.

Well, its not that bad. I thought she was going to show me a picture of uhhhh...an eagle on her ass or something.

[To Kelly, after he's become suspicious] You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you?

You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!