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It is hardly possible to over-calculate the evils accruing to individuals and to society in general from this custom, gradually increasing, of late and ultra-prudent marriages. Parents bring up their daughters in luxurious homes, expecting and exacting that the home to which they transfer them should be of almost equal ease; forgetting how next to impossible it is for such a home to be offered by any young man of the present generation, who has to work his way like his father before him. Daughters, accustomed to a life of ease and laziness, are early taught to check every tendency towards 'a romantic attachment' - the insane folly of loving a man for what he is, rather than for what he has got; of being content to fight the worldly battle hand-in-hand - with a hand that is worth clasping, rather than settle down in comfortable sloth, protected and provided for in all external things. Young men ... But words fail to trace the lot of enforced bachelorhood, hardest when its hardship ceases to be consciously felt. ~ Ch. 10

Dinah Maria Mulock#26

RelationshipsMarriageExpectationsGender

About this quote

What does it mean?
Prudent marriages and comfortable up bring difficulty for young men and foster laziness in women, preventing genuine partnership.
In plain terms
Over‑protective marriages and easy living hinder real love and responsibility.
What can you take from it?
Encourage realistic expectations and shared effort in relationships.

Where it applies

  • family planning
  • relationship counseling

Putting it to work

  • set realistic standards
  • promote mutual effort

Questions to consider

  • How can couples balance comfort and responsibility?
  • What alternatives exist to “ultra‑prudent” marriages?

Another view

The view is gender‑biased and assumes universal conditions.

More from Dinah Maria Mulock

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  2. Nevertheless, taking life as a whole, believing that it consists not in what we have, but in our power of enjoying the same; that there are in it things nobler…

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  3. The world! It is a word capable of as diverse interpretations or misinterpretations as the thing itself - a thing by various people supposed to belong to heave…

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