'Susan, I saw you in the classroom today, as the sun came from behind the clouds, a burst of brilliant light caught your hair, it was haloed in front of me. You turned, your eyes flashed fire into my soul, I immediately read the words of Dostoevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I fancy you!' But no, at 13 you're just going, ''Ello Sue: I've got legs. D'ya like: bread? I've got a French loaf. [mimes smacking someone with the loaf and dashing off] Byeee! [high voice] I love you!'

I like my coffee hot and strong, like i like my women, hot and strong... with a spoon in them.

But in Britain we don't win many gold medals at the Olympics, because we've chosen not to. It's a political statement. 'cause we hate our national anthem. Beca…

You've got to say something. You can't go down to the moon and go, 'Oh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam!'

He thought he saw an Elephant, That practised on a fife: He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife. 'At length I realise,' he said, 'The bittern…

And if you go chasing rabbits And you know you're going to fall, Tell 'em a hookah smokin' caterpillar has given you the call. Call Alice when she was just sma…

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddam. (sic)